Originally posted November 2018
I’m so excited to share Mandy’s story today. She is a mama of four, a blogger at The Striving Momma, an inspiration on IG as @thestrivingmomma, and she loves salsa. We are all sent to earth to learn. And sometimes learning is hard. Finding JOY in the journey and STRIVING for those goals to find that joy is part of Mandy’s story today. I hope that you will make note of her tips and give them a try!
“About a year and a half ago my rock-star husband was in the think of his first year of residency in orthopedic surgery. I’m a pretty independent person, so I used to think people kind of dramatized “residency life” and how hard it would be. Well, as it turns out, they were just being honest. :)lol It is a rocky journey, but an amazing one. You just have to put on your seat belt, say “see ya later” to your husband most of the time, and take care of the kiddos and the house solo a lot of the time.
Right after my surprise 4th baby was born there was a whirlwind of challenges that seemed to trickle in one after the other in about a 3 month period-My man was still battling long hours {I’m talking around 72-100+ hours every week}, very little sleep, and depression; I had a surprise surgery to remove multiple kidney stones out of both kidneys {the after burn was pretty intense}; I got mastitis {ouch} for my first time, and I had a newborn while my husband immediately switched rotations to trauma 2 weeks after my baby was born. It was a R-O-U-G-H patch. Insert crazy emoji face here.
We all know motherhood is the best job ever, but also challenging and exhausting at times. I was feeling the weight of taking care of all my littles and the needs of a newborn while getting little sleep and trying my best to keep my husband afloat through his simultaneous ever-present trials. I felt helpless, spent, and just plain tired.
Sometimes I questioned in my mind why all of these things were happening all at once when things were already hard, and the spirit warmed my heart and reminded me that all these trials on my path are there on purpose. Amidst this trial, I was reminded that JUST BECAUSE SOMETHING IS RIGHT DOESN’T MEAN IT’S EASY. Trials are meant to change us and help us grow along the way. Trials bring growth and change you for the better like nothing else can. And, not only were the trials there, but the blessings were woven all throughout the trials too! They always are.
I was able to see God’s hand through my friends as they served me, loved me, and took my babies on hard days since I don’t have any family around. I even allowed myself to be vulnerable and “let it all out” to a forever friend of mine and I was able to connect with her about several similar trials our families faced. It gave me so much comfort. My little Ollie was THE sweetest, easy going snuggly baby during this time, which I am SURE was not an accident. I also recognized and saw added strength, perseverance, and positivity Heavenly Father poured into me even during these hard times. Looking back I can see just how much I was strengthened and continue to be when I have to step up to the plate of my trials. He was and is there every step of the way helping me get through that crazy time of life.
So for you feeling alone, struggling-whether it be struggling with a spuse suffering from depression or drowning postpartum wondering if you can handle it all-KNOW you are NOT alone. You can do it and you will get through it. If I can, anyone can…and I want to throw in a few practical tips and tools that helped me {and still help me} get through this phase of trials I have shared and all my trials:
- Cry. Yup, you heard me. Let it all out. I naturally don’t think about my personal mental health amidst struggles a lot. I kind of grin and bear it if you will. Well, I’ve learned the hard way that this builds up until break time.;) And once I break and cray for an hour or sometimes a couple of days, I feel better. So LET YOURSELF BE SAD if you have that feeling so that it can pass and you can move on. If you do it with a friend you get to be forever bonded amidst the cry session too. Bonus.
- GET OUTSIDE MORE. I found myself wanting to make my life as easy as possible initially with my newborn baby and my very energetic 1 year old {my closest age gap}– but, I quickly leaned that getting out of the house into the sunshine or out with other friends was much more therapeutic for my soul than staying inside being constantly reminded of all I had to do. Yuck, get outside. It’s way better.
- FIND HEALTHY OUTLETS. Find healthy ways to let your emotions out. You may not be a crier, or perhaps yo do cry but you don’t feel quite “done” after. Find what healthy outlets are for you. It may be writing in a journal, blogging, chatting with your mom or friends, praying, IG posting, reading, serving, social time…figure out yours and do them!
- NOTICE THE SILVER LINING. It is always there, it just takes our focus to notice it. Thankful journal, in your prayers, checklist at the end of the day, telling your spouse-figure something out. Once you notice one good thing the others will start manifesting themselves one after the other in your mind.
So to you momma’s out there with lots on your plates feeling like you are doing-everthing-solo struggling to stay afloat, take heart: “If we’re alone, we’re all together in that too”. {PS I love You}. You can do it.
PS- Take a look at my sweet unexpected baby #4 NOW. Totally worth it.:)”
I hope that you enjoyed today’s Wednesday story! I know that I have felt uplifted and inspired by Mandy’s story and words of advice in overcoming those challenges we face each day. Her tip to get outside is so good for me. When I am feeling depressed and anxious, I hide in my house, which doesn’t help. I especially struggle with that during our cold months-like right now! So my goal, is to get out more. To specifically leave my house to do something extra, something fun, something to make positive good memories! Share with me what your goal is.:)
Thank you Many so much for sharing your story. Please head over to her blog and follow her on IG. She is truly a light. She will help brighten your day. Let’s all STRIVE together.
A Jubilant Hope 