Heaven is Cheering You On

Today’s post is taken mostly from my other blog awaiting rainbows . I shared some of these thoughts about a year and a half ago. My husband’s cousin had recently taken his life. It was tragic. It is always tragic.

My community recently had a HOPE walk to support talking more openly about suicide. This topic is tender to me as mental illness runs so strongly in my family, and I know many who have struggled with thoughts of suicide. My daughter was able to participate in that walk and it was so amazing to her how many people were able to support greater awareness.

So how can we battle those these feelings that life is not worth living?  Those thoughts that we have messed up so badly that we see no way out.  That life is so incredibly lonely. That everyone will be better off without us. That all hope is lost. How do we battle this?

We have to get help from heaven.  Elder Jeffery R. Holland gave an amazing talk a few years ago entitled Tomorrow the Lord will do wonders among you.  I think it is significant that he uses the word “tomorrow“. 

Of course He is doing wonders today as well, but we need to have that great HOPE inside of us that TOMORROW there will be wonders in our life.  TOMORROW there will be good.  TOMORROW there will be people who love us, pray for us, reach out to us.  And TOMORROW, just as today, Heaven will be cheering us on.

Our Heavenly Father and Savior, Jesus Christ, are our best heavenly cheerleaders.  But sometimes, we are so sorrowful we can’t feel it.  How can we get to a point where we can feel their love?

We need to cry out, pray, plead to the only one who can help us.  Jesus Christ came to Earth and suffered every possible thing we can face or feel.  He knows how to help us.  In Alma 7:11-13, Alma tells us about how Jesus Christ can help us:

“And he(Jesus Christ) shall go forth, suffering pains and affliction and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.

And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filed with mercy according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.

Now the Spirit knoweth all things; nevertheless the Son of God suffereth according to the flesh that he might take upon him the sins of his people that he might blot out their transgressions according to the power of his deliverance; and now behold, this is the testimony which is in me.”

I know that when I have been in the depths of sorrow after losing yet another pregnancy, and wondering why on earth I needed to endure losing another one, it was because I prayed and turned to the only one who could understand me that I received consistent strength to get me through each day of sorrow until I could see the light and joy again.

I pray that if you are in the depths of sorrow right now, that you listen to Elder Holland’s words:

I know his words are true because I have experienced it. 

When life is hard, keep trying.  Read from the scriptures, especially the Book Of Mormon.  Talk to someone about how you are feeling.  The church I belong to, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, has put out the most touching video called Choose to Stay on dealing with feelings of suicide.  The more we talk about this and reach out, the more we can help.

I pray today you will feel loved, cared for, looked after, uplifted, and blessed with the strength you need to make it to tomorrow. 

And if you can’t feel it, please talk to someone.

Today there is a reason to have a jubilant hope.

PS If you need help and don’t know where to reach out, there are some great helps on this website by the church I belong to.

And here are some numbers to call or text:

Screenshot_2018-10-01 In Crisis Talk Now

I Will Grow For You

There is a lot to learn in life. And it seems that some of the best and HARDEST lessons are learned through loss. Going through miscarriage after miscarriage, not knowing if the pregnancy was ever going to be successful, taught me a lot. It opened my eyes to see suffering in a different way.

Suffering isn’t always visible. Very few people ever knew of my struggle with losing babies, with my daily mental battle to be there for the children I already had at the time, and to put on a face that everything was ok. I became very good at portraying that I was “just fine”.

But over time, my heart and head began to see the blessings from this hardship. The blessing to understand sorrow. Sorrow takes many forms, lasts different lengths of time, and lends itself to different coping mechanisms. It can knock us off our feet in an instant. But it can also strongly bond us to another person in another instant.

I have been pondering what I can do to help people heal. To help people hope. And that is why I have created an etsy shop called Jubilant Creations Co . I have created beautiful floral pillow covers. Designed not only to bring beauty to your home, but to remind and inspire you to see hope daily. To keep growing and becoming a better, more understanding and compassionate person.

I hope that my little efforts can spread hope. Here is a little poem I wrote. Feel free to share it with anyone who might need it.

Thank you friends for reading my words. Truly it means the world. And if my words or my pillow covers can bring even one person a bit of hope, then this is all worth it.



The Infinite Power of Hope

I belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. And there is a talk I just love by Elder Dieter F. Uchdorf entitled, The Infinite Power of Hope. Infinite is defined as


limitless or endless in space, extent, or size; impossible to measure or calculate. “the infinite mercy of God”

So the amount of HOPE that God can give to us individually is actually INFINITE. It is impossible to measure! There is no cap on the amount of hope we can been given or have the ability to feel.

When we allow the Savior to be our focus, even in the darkest times of our lives, we can feel hope. That doesn’t mean life is always happy and that we will feel happy when someone is hurtful to us or a loved one passes away, but it allows us to more quickly move past the sorrow and hurt, so we can fully enjoy this infinite gift of hope.

May today be a day where the rays of hope shine a little brighter. Look for that light no matter how many clouds surround you.

my mountain view this morning

Keep in touch with me by following me on Instagram! The journey of life is always more fun with friends!


Regaining Focus

Tuesday on my awaitingrainbows account on IG, I shared a post about Intention and a plate of brownies. These brownies arrived on my doorstep with a hug from my neighbor. It was just what I needed that day. I had still been struggling for the previous two months after my first D&C. It has been a very hard recovery, my third miscarriage in a row, and it was winter. My sorrow seemed to want to hang around a lot longer.

But that day, through my sorrow, I saw God’s hand in my life. I saw that he sent me an angel on earth, a rescuer to help pull me out of my thoughts. Very few people even knew that I had a D&C, and it had been a couple months, so who would even remember that I was sad besides me? He sent me someone who not only fed my insane chocolate addiction, but fed my soul. And now years later, every time I see this neighbor, my heart remembers that day. I feel connected to her. I feel that she is my friend.

click on artwork for link to site

One of the great challenges of any trial accompanied by sorrow is we can lose our focus on Christ. For me, it wasn’t like every moment of every day I was wallowing in sorrow. But there were definitely moments, sometimes to my surprise. And I wasn’t taking full advantage of the amazing healing power of Jesus Christ. Sometimes it’s a choice to allow ourselves to be comforted. To accept God’s will. I was trying, by my empty arms were well, …very empty. Sometimes time needs a helping hand.

Surrounding ourselves with good friends who don’t judge us because of our weaknesses, but instead say, I hear you in your sorrow, sin, pain, loneliness- those friends will strengthen us, and help enable us to regain our focus on Christ. And brownies aren’t bad either!

I have been noticing a lot more in my recent study in the Book of Mormon how many times the word “exceedingly” is used. I love the phrase “exceedingly great joy“! Doesn’t that just sound so wonderful? I think that we can have daily moments of exceedingly great joy. And I think we can be the hands of Christ to give that joy to another. And these exceedingly joyful moments will increase as we increase our focus on Christ.

I recently was able to help a wonderful couple in my very short-term job. The wife had suffered a stroke two months prior. It was very traumatic for the husband who found her unconscious in the shower. His fear just a short two months later was still very high. He was so worried to ever leave his tender wife again. And because he had no religion in his life, his understanding was this burden was his alone to bear. He didn’t know the true Healer who could calm his troubled heart help carry that burden. And as I watched him suffer mental and emotional anguish, it made me realize how grateful I am for my knowledge that Jesus Christ lives. And that the he knows me and loves me. He is patient with me as I learn. And he can lift my burdens and make them light–they are not always gone, but we are able to bear them.

And I believe we must all pass through sorrow and challenges. It’s how we grow. Even my two year old needs to feel sorrow. For example, she’s very sad when she can’t have chocolate for breakfast and melts down into tears. But she learns that life still must go on. That I still love her even if I say no. And when she changes her focus away from the chocolate and onto other things, she is happier. And if she’s patient, chocolate will come later in the day, and she will feel exceedingly great joy as it melts in her mouth.

May you feel joy this day and your burdens lifted as you refocus your life on Christ.



PS I’m working on something exciting and a bit daunting an scary to me! Here’s a sneak peak! Any guesses?