God Does Provide

What an amazing month March has been! Our world is experiencing something that hasn’t happened before in the way it is happening now. All of us moms are learning how to home school our children, some of us are experiencing financial stress like never before, and we are separated from family and friends.

For me, this experience hasn’t actually been all that hard so far. I like being home. I like having my kids around all the time. My kids teachers have been amazing and made school at home super do-able. The company my husband works for is tiny, so they have been able to continue working. We are all healthy. Our extended family is safe.

BUT, I know there are many, many people suffering and going through some of the hardest days of their lives.

I have been feeling like I should share the experience of having to depend on the generosity of the church I belong to, to feed my family. I pray this will help someone.

About 2 1/2 years ago, my husband walked through the kitchen door early one Friday afternoon. I was doing dishes with a screaming 7 week old snuggled into my wrap(she had SEVERE colic and reflux–she cried all day and night). I turned to my husband and said, Did you get fired?– half joking, but also worried because his boss was acting weird lately. He said, yes, he was fired. He was being replaced with someone cheaper.

So there we stood in the kitchen, holding each other and crying. This was a few days before Halloween in 2017. We let this news sink in. We now had six kids…Christmas was around the corner…now we would have no insurance…had we prepared enough?

We knew we wanted to be calm for our kids. So later we sat down and figured out our money-thanks to the inspiration 1 1/2 years earlier to get on a strict budget- we were able to quickly see what bills we had, what we could eliminate from the budget, and if we could afford Christmas. With the help of many surprises on our doorstep…Christmas did come!

One way we were going to make our cash stretch-because who knew how long it would take to get another job– was to depend on our church to help feed our family.

I still very strongly remember that in order to get help from my church, I would need to meet with my Relief Society president. I was actually terrified! What was she going to ask? Was she going to look at my food storage and tell me how much food I could have? What food was there even at the Bishop’s storehouse {a church grocery store for those in need}? Would my kids even eat it? Would I be wasting the Lord’s money? Did we really deserve this help?

So many thoughts.

But she came to my home, my baby was of course crying, but it was a beautiful experience. She made me feel totally at peace. She didn’t inspect my food storage, but instead, she asked me how I was doing– was I ok spiritually, mentally, emotionally? She asked how she could help. Then she guided me in how to get food for my family. She helped me know how much meat, veggies, etc that a family my size would expect to need in a two week period. Then she offered to come with me my first time to the Bishop’s storehouse. Oh how I was so grateful for that! This experience opened my eyes to some of the heavy burden a relief society president carries.

Going to the storehouse was an ordeal. Going in the car was difficult for my baby, she constantly choked and spit up because the car seat leans her back. She often would cry the entire 20 minute drive to the storehouse and back. So, I was already emotional when I got there because of my crying baby, being worried about how long we would go through this, and wondering about being judged by how I looked. After all, when I arrived in the parking lot, my suburban, although not new by any means, definitely looked nicer than most of the cars. I looked at my clothes, I certainly didn’t look like I needed any help. Would the volunteers look at me like I didn’t deserve this help?

Once again…so many thoughts.

But as my relief society president met me, we walked in together. And then, I saw that one of my daughter’s friend’s moms was a volunteer. My first instinct was embarrassment. What would she think of me? But that quickly went away, as she and a couple of cute elderly volunteers showed nothing but love and kindness. They oohed and awed over my tiny baby. They showed no sign of judgement at all. Only love. This storehouse also had beautiful pictures of Christ serving, which made me feel peace.

As I went around looking at all the beautiful produce, meat, milk {even CHOCOLATE milk}, cheese, BYU ICE CREAM, canned fruits and veggies…It was hard not to be overcome to tears. As I loaded the groceries in my car, I was just in awe of how God provides.

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God had put into place a way that members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints could easily donate tithes and offerings. That money literally fed my family. That money literally made the difference in my family making it until my husband got a new job seven months later. That money, turned into food, provided the peace I needed. As a mother, I can’t think of anything worse than saying to my kids, I’m sorry there is no food today.

But mothers all around this world do have to say that to their kids.

We have the ability to help people. We can all pay our tithes and offerings. We can support local food pantry’s. We can do a lot of good and still stay home. For those of us who are able, I hope that we can look for ways to help lift hearts that hang down and are weary, worried, and scared.

God does provide. But he also needs helpers. And as we become His helpers, our hearts are changed–Changed into hearts like our Savior, Jesus Christ.

Today there is a reason to hope.

Let’s share that hope.